Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Bonnie's Fave Five Restaurants
1. Maddox
2. Zinn Bistro
3. Market Street
4. Seafood Buffet Deer Valley
5. Grand America Buffet
*Sadly enough Carl's Jr. was not in her top five, even though it is a fine family establishment!
2. Zinn Bistro
3. Market Street
4. Seafood Buffet Deer Valley
5. Grand America Buffet
*Sadly enough Carl's Jr. was not in her top five, even though it is a fine family establishment!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Definition: Apology
The word apology is thrown around a lot these days. Many use it to destroy the tension or even just to correct ones inproper speech. But today, I would like to use this word to unconver a deeper seed of regret...
On Friday, March 28th, I made a comment to the Jeff Tingey, that i didnt want him to sit by me at an upcoming USU/Utah volleyball match (consisting of the best womens volleyball player in utah, Missy). This was a HUGE mistake. I had forgotten Jeff's background, who had raised him, and also who still cares for him. Yes, I am talking about the bonnie. By insulting Jeff, I directly insulted the bonnie. I feel turrible about this. I have gotten no sleep the past 2 hours, and i fell like i must get this off of my chest, and i figured there was no better way to do it than to let all the bonnie world know about it.
So please, bonnie lovers, accept this Apology for my inexcusable behavior. I know i am asking a lot, but it would mean a lot to me if i could know i am still welcome here.
Thank you and farewell,
bonnfireoflove
On Friday, March 28th, I made a comment to the Jeff Tingey, that i didnt want him to sit by me at an upcoming USU/Utah volleyball match (consisting of the best womens volleyball player in utah, Missy). This was a HUGE mistake. I had forgotten Jeff's background, who had raised him, and also who still cares for him. Yes, I am talking about the bonnie. By insulting Jeff, I directly insulted the bonnie. I feel turrible about this. I have gotten no sleep the past 2 hours, and i fell like i must get this off of my chest, and i figured there was no better way to do it than to let all the bonnie world know about it.
So please, bonnie lovers, accept this Apology for my inexcusable behavior. I know i am asking a lot, but it would mean a lot to me if i could know i am still welcome here.
Thank you and farewell,
bonnfireoflove
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Notes From An Inspired Discourse
On Sunday March 23rd, 2008. 10:07 A.M. the Willow Creek 4th ward received the greatest Easter gift since the original tombstone rolled back... Our Bonnie spoke in Sacrament meeting. The following is a collection of notes and bullet points on the talk as written by the spirit through my pen. I give to you... BONNIE'S TALK
-Mike and Jeff used to collect baseball cards
-Rob gave Bonnie a baseball card on their anniversary, this told Bonnie the marriage would last
-Mickey Mantle was a baseball player, Bobby Richardson was his teammate.
-Mickey Mantle died from Alcohol; Don't drink
-If you have a problem, the Lord will solve it... He's the answer to all problems
-Some chick gave a talk about 6 points on discerning the spirit.
-According to Bonnie the 6 points are...
1-Find God's Will
2-Listen
3-Don't be too intent on what you want
4-Your heart is not prepared
-Bonnie says that Henry B. Eyring said that we should ask the lord for his will, not tell him ours
-Bonnie was engaged before she met Rob... To another man... She's a playa
-Spirit told her to get with the Tingey Program
(Bonnie has now officially gone overtime)
-Mickey Mantle repented on his death bed... You can too.
-John 3:16 (Obviously Bonnie follows sports)
-Abinidi threw down spiritually
-Abinidi was a Bad A
-Bonnie just read the entire book of Alma over the pulpit, it went surprisingly fast
-Bonn Bonn has a testimony
-She is thankful for me
-And Rob... And Mickey Mantle
-Amen*
*at this point the entire audience spontaneously gave a standing ovation and began weeping with joy at the same time
-Mike and Jeff used to collect baseball cards
-Rob gave Bonnie a baseball card on their anniversary, this told Bonnie the marriage would last
-Mickey Mantle was a baseball player, Bobby Richardson was his teammate.
-Mickey Mantle died from Alcohol; Don't drink
-If you have a problem, the Lord will solve it... He's the answer to all problems
-Some chick gave a talk about 6 points on discerning the spirit.
-According to Bonnie the 6 points are...
1-Find God's Will
2-Listen
3-Don't be too intent on what you want
4-Your heart is not prepared
-Bonnie says that Henry B. Eyring said that we should ask the lord for his will, not tell him ours
-Bonnie was engaged before she met Rob... To another man... She's a playa
-Spirit told her to get with the Tingey Program
(Bonnie has now officially gone overtime)
-Mickey Mantle repented on his death bed... You can too.
-John 3:16 (Obviously Bonnie follows sports)
-Abinidi threw down spiritually
-Abinidi was a Bad A
-Bonnie just read the entire book of Alma over the pulpit, it went surprisingly fast
-Bonn Bonn has a testimony
-She is thankful for me
-And Rob... And Mickey Mantle
-Amen*
*at this point the entire audience spontaneously gave a standing ovation and began weeping with joy at the same time
Saturday, March 22, 2008
The Easter Bonnie
If the Bonnieblog stands for one thing and one thing only, it is the pursuit of Bonnie-related truth. With that in mind, there is a grave untruth that has been forced upon your minds that the Bonnieblog can no longer bear to hear.
Over the years a big deal has been made about a certain rabbit with alleged ties to the resurrection of a certain savior of mankind. This 5' 10'' lagomorpha hops into town the first Sunday after the paschal full moon and deposits multi-colored eggs in wicker baskets lined with fake grass. You might better know this pervert by his street name, the Easter Bunny.
For some reason there is an established religion, famous for its great and spacious buildings, that would have the world believe that this fuzzy fiend is somehow related to the easter holiday. Unfortunately this bonnieblogger sees through the fluff, this author has found the truth behind easter. As some have long suspected, there was never an "Easter Bunny," the easter bunny was made up by said religion as a way of hiding the truth about... the Easter Bonnie.
The Easter Bonnie has been around for centuries, spreading the true spirit of the Easter holiday. The Easter Bonnie needs no grass lined baskets or flaming techni-color eggs that would make Elton John look like as masculine as the Rock. The Easter Bonnie needs not sneak into the homes of unsuspecting victims in the middle of the night because the Easter Bonnie is always invited... Everywhere.
So, as you awake this Easter morning to treats galore, I implore you, in the spirit of the holiday, to give thanks to the true giver of easter goodies... The Easter Bonnie.
Over the years a big deal has been made about a certain rabbit with alleged ties to the resurrection of a certain savior of mankind. This 5' 10'' lagomorpha hops into town the first Sunday after the paschal full moon and deposits multi-colored eggs in wicker baskets lined with fake grass. You might better know this pervert by his street name, the Easter Bunny.
For some reason there is an established religion, famous for its great and spacious buildings, that would have the world believe that this fuzzy fiend is somehow related to the easter holiday. Unfortunately this bonnieblogger sees through the fluff, this author has found the truth behind easter. As some have long suspected, there was never an "Easter Bunny," the easter bunny was made up by said religion as a way of hiding the truth about... the Easter Bonnie.
The Easter Bonnie has been around for centuries, spreading the true spirit of the Easter holiday. The Easter Bonnie needs no grass lined baskets or flaming techni-color eggs that would make Elton John look like as masculine as the Rock. The Easter Bonnie needs not sneak into the homes of unsuspecting victims in the middle of the night because the Easter Bonnie is always invited... Everywhere.
So, as you awake this Easter morning to treats galore, I implore you, in the spirit of the holiday, to give thanks to the true giver of easter goodies... The Easter Bonnie.
Where Would I Be Without My Bonnie?
Where would I be without my Bonnie?
The thought alone might break me.
And I don't wanna go crazy.
But every thug needs some Bonnie.
-Ja Rule
These words are as true today as they were the day that Jeffrey "Ja Rule" Atkins first rapped them. The type of true to life lyrics that cut to the core of all men. This listener, in particular, was so moved that I sat pondering the topic for a good 37 straight hours. Where would I be without my Bonnie? Surely, the thought alone did break me.
My fellow Bonniebloggers, I challenge all of you to reflect on the impact that the Bonnie has made on you, and ask yourself, "where would I be without my Bonnie?"
The thought alone might break me.
And I don't wanna go crazy.
But every thug needs some Bonnie.
-Ja Rule
These words are as true today as they were the day that Jeffrey "Ja Rule" Atkins first rapped them. The type of true to life lyrics that cut to the core of all men. This listener, in particular, was so moved that I sat pondering the topic for a good 37 straight hours. Where would I be without my Bonnie? Surely, the thought alone did break me.
My fellow Bonniebloggers, I challenge all of you to reflect on the impact that the Bonnie has made on you, and ask yourself, "where would I be without my Bonnie?"
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Mr. Lonely
Akon said it best.
Good Luck to Robbonnie Sunday,
A concerned bloggist,
bonnfireoflove
"I have no bonnie, for my own. Yo, This bonnie here, goes out to all my spring breakers out there. That got that one good bonnie out there thats always cooked for em ya know? Now they gone to s.g., and i dunno what to do. I'm so lonely, I have no Bonnie for my own."
-Akon, Trouble, (Lonely)
As some of us depart for worldly places to enjoy ourselves, we leave behind the greatest nurturer on this earth. Sure, it will be tough to get our daily dose of bon bon, drug traffickers dont even sell that drug, while we leave her, the bonnie is getting spiritually prepared for her talk. For those of you like me who wont be able to attend, our hearts are shattered.Tupac even shares our feelings...
"It aint easy bein bon, life as a cook is less than heavenly, i got these fakes and these mendels chasin me around and its always drama.... Bon's gets lonely too"
-Tupac Shakur, Loyal To The Game (Bon's Get Lonely Too).
For you more classical music lovers,
James Taylor's Greatest Hit contemplates this dilhema...
"But dont let me be without bonnie tonight. I dont wanna be without bonnie tonight..."
-James Taylor, Greatest Hits, (Don't Let Bonnie Be Lonely Tonight)
As I will not have access to the bon bon for many a days, I can merely hope that i can feel her loving, nurturing spirit daily, and that i can fight off the spirits of the _ _ _ _ _ _ ' _.. (Fill in the blank)
A concerned bloggist,
bonnfireoflove
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Quote of the Day March 18
I haven't filled out my bracket, I'm waiting for the spirit of basketball to come over me.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Who's Hungry?
As we depart for our seperate Spring Break activities, I must ask, who's hungry for some BLT? Noobs will say "A Bacon Lettuce Tomatoe Sandwich? Not now, I just ate." While experienced bonnie lovers know that this truely means Bonnie & Lois Time. For those of you who dont know Lois, she is soon-to-be Bonnies third halve. These two go together like; Phillyse and Vance Refrigeration, Cheeri-o-s and sugar, and Beans and Dip.
This weekend, the Osterloh family and some guests will be departing down to St. George to acoompany Loving Lois. If you would like a transcript of this event, please contact me directly at my email address listed above.
This is bound to be a great event, your taste-buds must be salivating for some BLT.
Loisly,
Brown Bear
This weekend, the Osterloh family and some guests will be departing down to St. George to acoompany Loving Lois. If you would like a transcript of this event, please contact me directly at my email address listed above.
This is bound to be a great event, your taste-buds must be salivating for some BLT.
Loisly,
Brown Bear
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Im tired of getting Mendalized!!!
Good Blogging my fellow readers,
As I walked out of Priest Quorum today, trying to get out to my car to hurry home and comfort my mom, I ran into an unexpected visitor. Mr. Al Mendel. I was shocked at first as I saw that he was walking with his son, TM, but that compared to a simple static-shock ( like getting on to a trampoline and getting shocked and it kinda hurts but you dont really mind it ya know?) after I recieved a secret note from this man. I will simply post his letter and let you decide what to think of it. It reads:
Yours Bonnely,
Bonnfireoflove aka Ryan "O-loh"
note: al mendel did not actually write that note for copyright purposes
As I walked out of Priest Quorum today, trying to get out to my car to hurry home and comfort my mom, I ran into an unexpected visitor. Mr. Al Mendel. I was shocked at first as I saw that he was walking with his son, TM, but that compared to a simple static-shock ( like getting on to a trampoline and getting shocked and it kinda hurts but you dont really mind it ya know?) after I recieved a secret note from this man. I will simply post his letter and let you decide what to think of it. It reads:
Dear Brother Osterloh,
I have been told that you are being a distracting disturbance in my Sons Valiant 11-12 class. Now I understand that you are a Valiant 11 in your spiritual growth, but please, let my Son learn what he needs to learn to become the next prophet, (we are the sons of the Great King George). Also, I hear you are posting blogs about one of our ward members. This needs to stop! Blogging is a sin. And between me and you, im not the biggest fan of Bonnie[editors note: I ripped the letter apart when I read this, sorry, i couldnt restrain myself.]
Sincerely Yours, Al Mendel
WOW. (This is bonnfireoflove blogging again.) Let me just say this, I WAS DISGRACED when i read those dispicable words. He must have written this letter days ago, because the almighty one would not allow such crimes to be done on a Sunday! How a member of our Bishopric could do this... I dont know frankly, Gordon Giricek must have had something to do with it. Personally I think his son enjoys bringing other members of the class down, and no primary class can function with this type of attitude. Sure, others may do this also, however, they hide these things at church, and isnt that what being a TRUE member is all about??? Acting like a good member while at church, only to be a total G outside of church? These are just my thoughts, thank you for your time,Yours Bonnely,
Bonnfireoflove aka Ryan "O-loh"
note: al mendel did not actually write that note for copyright purposes
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Bonnie's Fave Five
Every Saturday from now on we will be giving you Bonnie's Fave Five... this weeks, Bonnie's Fave Five Jazz Players.
1. Mehmet Okur
2. Deron Williams
3. Paul Millsap (not to be confused with Abe)
4. Ronnie Brewer
5. Kal Kover (aka Kyle Korver)
1. Mehmet Okur
2. Deron Williams
3. Paul Millsap (not to be confused with Abe)
4. Ronnie Brewer
5. Kal Kover (aka Kyle Korver)
That's a Bold Strategy ... Let's See If It Pays Off
In what can only be considered one of the most controversial strategies since the infamous Average Joe's forfeit strategy of '04, the Bonnie has officially gone against all semblance of reason in stating that she will be "rooting" for BYU in todays MWC championship game.
What would drive such a sane, rational person as the Bonnie to make such a disturbing statement? Could our righteous Bonnie actually have such an unrighteous desire? Could it be that Provo's evil powers that be have replaced our sweet precious Bonnie with a Provo-Pod-Bonnie in a sick attempt to persuade her loyal followers to cheer on their unholy team? Or could it be that our beloved Bonnie has actually derived a strategy so devious and genius that it could only be called a BT Reverse Jinx?
At this point it is merely speculation but as an expert in Bonntology I would say that the Bonnnie must be in the middle of the first full blown reverse-jinx since the George Mason- UConn Elite 8 thriller of '06. Did it work for George Mason... I think we all know the answer to that. Is this really what the Bonnie is doing? I hope so. If it is, will it work for the Bonnie? It's a bold strategy... We'll see if it pays off.
What would drive such a sane, rational person as the Bonnie to make such a disturbing statement? Could our righteous Bonnie actually have such an unrighteous desire? Could it be that Provo's evil powers that be have replaced our sweet precious Bonnie with a Provo-Pod-Bonnie in a sick attempt to persuade her loyal followers to cheer on their unholy team? Or could it be that our beloved Bonnie has actually derived a strategy so devious and genius that it could only be called a BT Reverse Jinx?
At this point it is merely speculation but as an expert in Bonntology I would say that the Bonnnie must be in the middle of the first full blown reverse-jinx since the George Mason- UConn Elite 8 thriller of '06. Did it work for George Mason... I think we all know the answer to that. Is this really what the Bonnie is doing? I hope so. If it is, will it work for the Bonnie? It's a bold strategy... We'll see if it pays off.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Party Safe, Party Hard
Good Evening Worldwide BonnieBlog Readership,
It has been brought to the attention of the BonnieBlog staff that some of our most loyal and cherished readers are soon to embark on a magical journey called "Spring Break!" If any of you got the same chill that I got upon reading those mystical words... Spring Break... then it probably means that you will soon take that voyage. While some of you will be venturing to far off enchanted locations like Cancun, Bermuda, Las Vegas or... dare I say... Sandy? Many of our worldwide readership will be spending their much needed away time in the comfort of their own homes. Regardless of where you spend your precious spring break it is important that in the spirit of Bonniehood you party to the fullest of your ability. Bonnie wouldn't have it any other way. Party hard, but party safe.
With "safety" in mind it is our pleasure to announce the release of the hottest spring break party drink since Thomas Jefferson invented water... The BONNIE-COLADA. It's exactly like a Pina-Colada, except it is made with Bonnies blood, sweat and tears... not literally, that would be gross, and we substitute the alcohol with the secretest of secret ingredients... the rarest of rare ingredients... an actual particle of concentrated Bonnie Love, found in only one place on earth... Bonnie's heart!
So, this spring break, as you're sipping your delicious Bonnie-Colada, remember that partying with a Bonnie-Colada is the closest thing to partying with Bonnie herself... so put that in your party cup and drink it...
It has been brought to the attention of the BonnieBlog staff that some of our most loyal and cherished readers are soon to embark on a magical journey called "Spring Break!" If any of you got the same chill that I got upon reading those mystical words... Spring Break... then it probably means that you will soon take that voyage. While some of you will be venturing to far off enchanted locations like Cancun, Bermuda, Las Vegas or... dare I say... Sandy? Many of our worldwide readership will be spending their much needed away time in the comfort of their own homes. Regardless of where you spend your precious spring break it is important that in the spirit of Bonniehood you party to the fullest of your ability. Bonnie wouldn't have it any other way. Party hard, but party safe.
With "safety" in mind it is our pleasure to announce the release of the hottest spring break party drink since Thomas Jefferson invented water... The BONNIE-COLADA. It's exactly like a Pina-Colada, except it is made with Bonnies blood, sweat and tears... not literally, that would be gross, and we substitute the alcohol with the secretest of secret ingredients... the rarest of rare ingredients... an actual particle of concentrated Bonnie Love, found in only one place on earth... Bonnie's heart!
So, this spring break, as you're sipping your delicious Bonnie-Colada, remember that partying with a Bonnie-Colada is the closest thing to partying with Bonnie herself... so put that in your party cup and drink it...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
iBonnie
As we all now, Mac is the leader in 21st century technology. But there are other scientists who are working towards a miraculous invention, the iBonnie. These Japanese scientists have struggled to create such a mechanism. Stem Cell Research? Take a Seat. Cure for Cancer? Find a Chair. Mechanical Sharpie? DISCOVERED!
But the real invention is impossible to recreate. Even before the bonnie was born, these scientists knew something great was coming, through biblical foreshadowing of course. These scientists have invented e-mail, a cure for polio, and deron williams(their first attempt failed miserably, you may know him as chris paul).
I'm wondering if you think the money being put into this is worth it. We all know Bonnie's love can't be recreated, so why even try? Please feel free to leave your feedback as i will be submitting the results to Steve Jobs.
But the real invention is impossible to recreate. Even before the bonnie was born, these scientists knew something great was coming, through biblical foreshadowing of course. These scientists have invented e-mail, a cure for polio, and deron williams(their first attempt failed miserably, you may know him as chris paul).
I'm wondering if you think the money being put into this is worth it. We all know Bonnie's love can't be recreated, so why even try? Please feel free to leave your feedback as i will be submitting the results to Steve Jobs.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
QUIZ! Have You Got A Little Bonnie In You?
Welcome! You will need a #2 Pencil and a piece of college ruled paper (If you were Bonnie you would've already been prepared, go ahead and deduct one point from your final score for not being prepared, the fact that you aren't Bonnie really puts you at a disadvantage when it comes to this quiz...and life in general, but don't get discouraged I believe it was Bonnie that said "Never Never Never Give Up...but I'll be there for you when you do") I'm paraphrasing.
Directions: You'll be asked a Series of Bonnie related questions. Take your time. Please answer truthfully.
Example: Did you go see the movie National Treasure, believing/assuming it to be about Bonnie? a)Yes or b)No
1) If you needed to buy sushi, get an eye exam, and/or purchase a TV DVD collection would you most likely go to:
a-Wal-Mart
b-Cost-Co
c-Sam's Club
2) When is the best time to unload the dishwasher?
a-6am-9am time range
b-4pm-7pm time range
c- 11pm-2am time range
3) If you could choose anyone in this world who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with?
a-Bonnie
*notice there is no "b" because it's just a given that we would all want to be with Bonnie
4) Are you allergic to...?
a-Cornish Game Hens
b-Chocolate
c-Cereal (Excludes Peanut Butter Crunch and Fruity Pebbles)
d-Cost-Co Kirkland Trail Mix
5) Does Bonnie trust you enough to give you her cell phone number?
a-yes
b-no
c-I haven't had the courage to ask yet
6) Did Bonnie feel you were important enough to add you to her cell phone directory?
a-yes
b-no
c- she pretended like she saved my number to spare my feelings, but I'm pretty sure she didn't save my number,but I understand that it's a privilege to be in her phone and I really haven't earned it yet
7) If your wireless service provider had a top 5 system would Bonnie be in your top 5?
a-yes
b-no
c-she already is
d- I would give her all five slots
e-I paid a huge cancellation fee to my former wireless provider and changed wireless providers just so Bonnie could be in my top 5
8) Does Bonnie have an affectionate nickname for you?
a-yes
b-no
9) Have you ever visited the Bonnie at the hospital?
a-yes
b-no
c-yes and I'm "technically" not even an immediate family member but I broke hospital protocol,violated visiting hours, and ignored fire codes because my love knows no bounds for her and it was the best Friday night ever
10) Has Bonnie ever changed your last name to hers when referencing you as a term of endearment? (Example of the top of my head, first thing that came to mind...Amy Tingey)
a-yes
b-no
c-I don't think she even knows my last name because I've never made a point of getting to know her and visiting her (If you choose C you are automatically disqualified because you don't deserve to take this test or have access to this blog)
11) Has the Bonnie ever given you her blessing to marry Jeff,Stephanie,or my James?
a-yes
b-no
c-yes, but half-heartedly because she's too nice to tell me I'm not good enough
c-if you claim she has given you her blessing to marry James that is a boldface lie, because she already promised him to me, and Bonnie is a woman of her word (See Integrity piece)
d-If Katie takes the quiz she automatically gets five points because Bonnie gave her the vote of approval a long time ago (and I second that)
12) Do you have your gallbladder?
a-no
b-yes
c-yes, but in a jar
d-sold it on E-Bay
13) Do you make creative and beautiful jewelry?
a-yes
b-no
c-I tried, but it didn't compare to Bonnie's magnificent creations so I gave up
14) Do you have a sweet ride like the Bonnie/and do you look good behind the wheel of it like the Bonnie?
a-yes
b-no
c- does it count if Bonnie has let me in her car before?
15) Are you an amazing/incredible/wonderful cook?
a-no
b-yes
16) Do you give great hugs?
a-yes
b-no
17) Have you ever had a pedicure at a 5-Diamond spa?
a-no
b-yes
18) Have you ever fed BonBon ice chips in her time of need?
a-yes
b-no
c-no, but if I had the chance I would
19) Has Bonnie ever offered you anything to eat?
a-no (I don't think this answer even needs to exist)
b-yes
c- not only did she offer, but she sent me home a to-go plate
20)Have you ever watched YouTube clips with Bonnie on a Saturday night?
a-no
b-yes
21) Do you have a Bonnie related tattoo?
a-no
b-yes
c-I'm planning on getting one
22)If you needed foster parents who would your first choice be?
a-Claire and Dr. Cliff Huxtable
b-Danny Tanner, Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joey
c- Bonnie and Rob
d-Homer and Marge Simpson
e-Carol and Mike Brady
23)What American Idol judge should Bonnie replace?
a-Simon Cowell
b-Paula Abdul
c-Randy Jackson
d-all of them, they only need Bonnie for a one woman show
24)Have you ever saved a puppy from a burning building?
a-yes
b-no
c-I choked under the pressure and I don't want to talk about it
25)Have you ever given someone both of your kidneys?
a-no
b-yes
26)Have you ever lifted a car above your head so a small trapped child can escape just before an explosion?
a-no
b-yes
27) Did you find the cure for Rabies?
a-yes
b-no
28) Did your wisdom single-handedly end the Writer's Strike?
a-yes
b-no
29) Did you originally conceive the idea that MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) should never carry a gun to keep viewers glued to their seats season after season?
a-yes
b-no
30) Has Chuck Norris ever called to wish you a Happy Birthday?
a-yes
b-no
c-no call, I only received a text at 12:01
31) Have you ever been a guest model on Deal or No Deal and displayed the million dollar briefcase with poise,grace, and the audience gave you a standing ovation?
a-no
b-yes
c-no, but I did have a chance to see Howie Mandel's stand up show in Las Vegas (save your money)
32) Do you believe that Charity Never Faileth?
a-yes
b-no
33) Did Kevin Costner, Robert Redford, Mel Gibson, Ted Danson, Kevin Spacey, and John Stamos ever propose to you and you turned them all down?
a-yes
b-no
c-only Ted Danson
34) Are you fluent in 8 different languages?
a-yes
b-no
35) Did you play an instrumental part in The Olympics coming to Salt Lake?
a-yes
b-no
36) Has Time magazine ever named you woman of the year?
a-yes
b-no
37) Has Barbara Walter's repeatedly put you on her list, year after year, of the 50 Most Fascinating People?
a-no
b-yes
38) Does your birth certificate list your middle name as "America's Sweetheart"?
a-yes
b-no
39) Did you invent a new flavor of Orbit gum?
a-yes
b-no
40) Have you set 341 Guinesss Book World Records this year alone?
a-no
b-yes
41) Did you invent the Thesaurus?
a-yes
b-no
42) Is your name synonymous with words like amazing, incredible, loving, considerate, sweet, nice, kind, thoughtful,talented,patient,mesmerizing, intelligent, beautiful, gifted?
a- yes (you cannot answer yes unless every single word applies to you)
b-no
43) Do Nobel Prize winners call you for advice?
a-yes
b-no
44)Do you have a birthmark that resembles Bonnie?
a-yes
b-no
c-it bears a slight resemblence
d-unmistakable certain likeness
45) Does your name in Italian mean "out of control amazing and there is no one else like me"
a-no
b-yes
46) Did H&R Block tell you that you are tax exempt due to total and utter awesomeness?
a-yes
b-no
47) Does your name rhyme with Bonnie?
a-no
b-yes
48)Have you ever watched the A&E 7 part biography- Bonnie's Portrait of Courage: How One Woman Could Move Mountains
a-no
b-yes it was captivating
c-I purchased the Special Edition DVD
49) Have you participated in the write-in campaign to Gatorade and suggest they make the flavor: Bon-a-fied Bodacious Blueberry Rush?
a-no
b-yes
50) Do you love Bonnie enough to have answered all 50 questions?
a-no
b-yes
c-I would have answered 3 times that many
51) BONUS QUESTION (Worth Double Points) !!! In tribute to Bonnie, did you write a 51 question quiz about her?
a-no
b-yes! Love me some Bonnie!
Directions: You'll be asked a Series of Bonnie related questions. Take your time. Please answer truthfully.
Example: Did you go see the movie National Treasure, believing/assuming it to be about Bonnie? a)Yes or b)No
1) If you needed to buy sushi, get an eye exam, and/or purchase a TV DVD collection would you most likely go to:
a-Wal-Mart
b-Cost-Co
c-Sam's Club
2) When is the best time to unload the dishwasher?
a-6am-9am time range
b-4pm-7pm time range
c- 11pm-2am time range
3) If you could choose anyone in this world who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with?
a-Bonnie
*notice there is no "b" because it's just a given that we would all want to be with Bonnie
4) Are you allergic to...?
a-Cornish Game Hens
b-Chocolate
c-Cereal (Excludes Peanut Butter Crunch and Fruity Pebbles)
d-Cost-Co Kirkland Trail Mix
5) Does Bonnie trust you enough to give you her cell phone number?
a-yes
b-no
c-I haven't had the courage to ask yet
6) Did Bonnie feel you were important enough to add you to her cell phone directory?
a-yes
b-no
c- she pretended like she saved my number to spare my feelings, but I'm pretty sure she didn't save my number,but I understand that it's a privilege to be in her phone and I really haven't earned it yet
7) If your wireless service provider had a top 5 system would Bonnie be in your top 5?
a-yes
b-no
c-she already is
d- I would give her all five slots
e-I paid a huge cancellation fee to my former wireless provider and changed wireless providers just so Bonnie could be in my top 5
8) Does Bonnie have an affectionate nickname for you?
a-yes
b-no
9) Have you ever visited the Bonnie at the hospital?
a-yes
b-no
c-yes and I'm "technically" not even an immediate family member but I broke hospital protocol,violated visiting hours, and ignored fire codes because my love knows no bounds for her and it was the best Friday night ever
10) Has Bonnie ever changed your last name to hers when referencing you as a term of endearment? (Example of the top of my head, first thing that came to mind...Amy Tingey)
a-yes
b-no
c-I don't think she even knows my last name because I've never made a point of getting to know her and visiting her (If you choose C you are automatically disqualified because you don't deserve to take this test or have access to this blog)
11) Has the Bonnie ever given you her blessing to marry Jeff,Stephanie,or my James?
a-yes
b-no
c-yes, but half-heartedly because she's too nice to tell me I'm not good enough
c-if you claim she has given you her blessing to marry James that is a boldface lie, because she already promised him to me, and Bonnie is a woman of her word (See Integrity piece)
d-If Katie takes the quiz she automatically gets five points because Bonnie gave her the vote of approval a long time ago (and I second that)
12) Do you have your gallbladder?
a-no
b-yes
c-yes, but in a jar
d-sold it on E-Bay
13) Do you make creative and beautiful jewelry?
a-yes
b-no
c-I tried, but it didn't compare to Bonnie's magnificent creations so I gave up
14) Do you have a sweet ride like the Bonnie/and do you look good behind the wheel of it like the Bonnie?
a-yes
b-no
c- does it count if Bonnie has let me in her car before?
15) Are you an amazing/incredible/wonderful cook?
a-no
b-yes
16) Do you give great hugs?
a-yes
b-no
17) Have you ever had a pedicure at a 5-Diamond spa?
a-no
b-yes
18) Have you ever fed BonBon ice chips in her time of need?
a-yes
b-no
c-no, but if I had the chance I would
19) Has Bonnie ever offered you anything to eat?
a-no (I don't think this answer even needs to exist)
b-yes
c- not only did she offer, but she sent me home a to-go plate
20)Have you ever watched YouTube clips with Bonnie on a Saturday night?
a-no
b-yes
21) Do you have a Bonnie related tattoo?
a-no
b-yes
c-I'm planning on getting one
22)If you needed foster parents who would your first choice be?
a-Claire and Dr. Cliff Huxtable
b-Danny Tanner, Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joey
c- Bonnie and Rob
d-Homer and Marge Simpson
e-Carol and Mike Brady
23)What American Idol judge should Bonnie replace?
a-Simon Cowell
b-Paula Abdul
c-Randy Jackson
d-all of them, they only need Bonnie for a one woman show
24)Have you ever saved a puppy from a burning building?
a-yes
b-no
c-I choked under the pressure and I don't want to talk about it
25)Have you ever given someone both of your kidneys?
a-no
b-yes
26)Have you ever lifted a car above your head so a small trapped child can escape just before an explosion?
a-no
b-yes
27) Did you find the cure for Rabies?
a-yes
b-no
28) Did your wisdom single-handedly end the Writer's Strike?
a-yes
b-no
29) Did you originally conceive the idea that MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson) should never carry a gun to keep viewers glued to their seats season after season?
a-yes
b-no
30) Has Chuck Norris ever called to wish you a Happy Birthday?
a-yes
b-no
c-no call, I only received a text at 12:01
31) Have you ever been a guest model on Deal or No Deal and displayed the million dollar briefcase with poise,grace, and the audience gave you a standing ovation?
a-no
b-yes
c-no, but I did have a chance to see Howie Mandel's stand up show in Las Vegas (save your money)
32) Do you believe that Charity Never Faileth?
a-yes
b-no
33) Did Kevin Costner, Robert Redford, Mel Gibson, Ted Danson, Kevin Spacey, and John Stamos ever propose to you and you turned them all down?
a-yes
b-no
c-only Ted Danson
34) Are you fluent in 8 different languages?
a-yes
b-no
35) Did you play an instrumental part in The Olympics coming to Salt Lake?
a-yes
b-no
36) Has Time magazine ever named you woman of the year?
a-yes
b-no
37) Has Barbara Walter's repeatedly put you on her list, year after year, of the 50 Most Fascinating People?
a-no
b-yes
38) Does your birth certificate list your middle name as "America's Sweetheart"?
a-yes
b-no
39) Did you invent a new flavor of Orbit gum?
a-yes
b-no
40) Have you set 341 Guinesss Book World Records this year alone?
a-no
b-yes
41) Did you invent the Thesaurus?
a-yes
b-no
42) Is your name synonymous with words like amazing, incredible, loving, considerate, sweet, nice, kind, thoughtful,talented,patient,mesmerizing, intelligent, beautiful, gifted?
a- yes (you cannot answer yes unless every single word applies to you)
b-no
43) Do Nobel Prize winners call you for advice?
a-yes
b-no
44)Do you have a birthmark that resembles Bonnie?
a-yes
b-no
c-it bears a slight resemblence
d-unmistakable certain likeness
45) Does your name in Italian mean "out of control amazing and there is no one else like me"
a-no
b-yes
46) Did H&R Block tell you that you are tax exempt due to total and utter awesomeness?
a-yes
b-no
47) Does your name rhyme with Bonnie?
a-no
b-yes
48)Have you ever watched the A&E 7 part biography- Bonnie's Portrait of Courage: How One Woman Could Move Mountains
a-no
b-yes it was captivating
c-I purchased the Special Edition DVD
49) Have you participated in the write-in campaign to Gatorade and suggest they make the flavor: Bon-a-fied Bodacious Blueberry Rush?
a-no
b-yes
50) Do you love Bonnie enough to have answered all 50 questions?
a-no
b-yes
c-I would have answered 3 times that many
51) BONUS QUESTION (Worth Double Points) !!! In tribute to Bonnie, did you write a 51 question quiz about her?
a-no
b-yes! Love me some Bonnie!
***Ready to Calculate your Score?! Go to the comment section of this post***
Intensity
We have all now heard the story of Bon Bon's integrity. Let me now share the story of this lovely womans intensity. It was at one of Michaels basketball games right before his mission. The refs were turrible in the words of bonnie's beloved Charles Barkley. She began to get increasingly angered. Such anger it could not be bottled up in her angel like head. Now if she were at home she could just cook to let off steam (no pun intended), but we were not at home, so something bontastic had to be done. She began to yell at the ref, he ignored at first. Then he began to notice some of the most clever insults he had ever heard. He said she needed to calm down and watch the game, but his calls were still turrible. She yelled more and the ref took action and kicked her out of the gym. Now me being a young stallion 7 year old I was mind bottled. But Bonnie being the hall of fame parent she is, she refused to leave because she had one of her children with her. The ref couldn't hold Bon Bon down, can't nobody hold Bon Bon down. Now this my friends is a TRUE STORY. Just because bonnie is a sweet and sincere angel don't think if you cross the line she won't come at you like a spider monkey.
Boncerely,
James Tingey
Boncerely,
James Tingey
Monday, March 10, 2008
The One Who Got Away
The following is a story of romance and deceit. I was just a city boy. born and raised in South Salt Lake City. I took the midnight train going straight to Bonnie's arms. it was a cold winter's night. i had just finished a vigorous game of basketball against my friend James, and lost. So the night was already going downhill. Then i saw her. She came through the midnight fog like an angel out of heaven. I began to walk towards this beaming ray of sunshine when Darkness (AKA Abe Millsap) overcame her. My heart shattered, and at that point i realized: The good Bonnie giveth, and the good Bonnie taketh away. Even though i lost her I realize it was better to have loved and lost Bonnie than to never have loved Bonnie at all. And Bonnie if you're reading this.......266-2667 (bon-bons)
Boncerely,
Jake Osterloh
Boncerely,
Jake Osterloh
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Integrity
I would like to blog about the integrity of Bonnie Tingey. We all probably know the strength of Bonnie's integrity, but i would just let everyone know of a little story that helps express my feelings.
There was a young man, we'll call him ekaJ, that was struggling with the sin of robbing banks. ekaJ had no integrity and would lie to the 5-0 about his where-a-bouts in order to keep himself innocent. Well, it was only a matter of time before ekaJ ran into Bonnie at a local bank.
On April 30th(National Honesty Day), ekaJ began his regular routine of entering the bank. He slid a note to the banker that read "I have a gun, but i cant show you". The teller was nervous, but retrieved the money from the safe. She didnt think she would ever see that money again, untill she saw Bonnie. Bonnie entered the bank and automatically knew what to do. It was instinct, Bonstinct if you may. She ran up to ekaJ and round house kicked him in the face. The money went flying. Bonnie could have easily took the money and ran, but NO. She safely wired the money back to the bank. The Police showed up 6 minutes later.
The reason i share this is because, well, ekaJ is my brother. He was robbing that bank out of frustration that Bonnie wasnt giving him enough attention. She appearantly had another secret son, A.M. .
ekaJ got his attention, along with a serving of integrity served up by my second mother, Bonnie Tingey... Thanks Bon, for saving my brothers life!!!
There was a young man, we'll call him ekaJ, that was struggling with the sin of robbing banks. ekaJ had no integrity and would lie to the 5-0 about his where-a-bouts in order to keep himself innocent. Well, it was only a matter of time before ekaJ ran into Bonnie at a local bank.
On April 30th(National Honesty Day), ekaJ began his regular routine of entering the bank. He slid a note to the banker that read "I have a gun, but i cant show you". The teller was nervous, but retrieved the money from the safe. She didnt think she would ever see that money again, untill she saw Bonnie. Bonnie entered the bank and automatically knew what to do. It was instinct, Bonstinct if you may. She ran up to ekaJ and round house kicked him in the face. The money went flying. Bonnie could have easily took the money and ran, but NO. She safely wired the money back to the bank. The Police showed up 6 minutes later.
The reason i share this is because, well, ekaJ is my brother. He was robbing that bank out of frustration that Bonnie wasnt giving him enough attention. She appearantly had another secret son, A.M. .
ekaJ got his attention, along with a serving of integrity served up by my second mother, Bonnie Tingey... Thanks Bon, for saving my brothers life!!!
Welcome Bonnie Lovers
Welcome fellow Bonnie lovers,
This here blog is a tribute to all of us who know the Bonnie, love the Bonnie, and cherish the Bonnie. Consider this page our way of collectively sharing all of our favorite Bonnie moments. Stories, quotes, experiences, and all other touching moments that have brought us together in Bonniehood.
Let the sharing begin.
This here blog is a tribute to all of us who know the Bonnie, love the Bonnie, and cherish the Bonnie. Consider this page our way of collectively sharing all of our favorite Bonnie moments. Stories, quotes, experiences, and all other touching moments that have brought us together in Bonniehood.
Let the sharing begin.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)