As you all know our beautiful angel bonnie has been out of our presence for the past 2 weeks visiting middle earth. She was on a quest...not to destroy and conquer, but to uplift and bring her wonderfulness to this people. She went to many of the provinces of middle earth baking brownies and cookies filled with bonnie love(the single greatest tasting ingredient EVER) and to everyone brought laughter with her wacky and loving ways. By the end of her epic quest there were 18 statues, 5 restaurants, and 3 movies all made in her honor. Plus New Zealands new official name is Bonnie Land. As she ended her voyage and returned to us, she did not destroy a certain ring, but did quite the opposite, she repaired our hearts from the pain we felt while she was away. Now as we have her back in our lives, let us be more grateful everyday that she is here, as we now know the pain of her not being here.
Much Love,
BonJamesBon
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Bon To The Future
We all know that the Bonnie possesses many powers beyond those of an average human being, but what you may not know is that one of those powers is actually time travel. Yes, time travel.
Sometime last week (around 1pm MDT on Saturday) the Bonnie discovered that she could in fact travel to the future and back in small increments. As I type this message on Saturday April 19th at 11:53 MDT the Bonnie is already enjoying her Sunday afternoon nap 18 hours in the future in a magical place called New Zealand. In fact, the Bonnie, at the risk of destroying the space time continuum, has already informed me that the Boston Celtics easily won game 1 of their Easter Conference Round 1 playoff match up. (What you choose to do with this information is up to you, but I will not be held responsible any gambling related consequences)
Where will she go next? I do not know, but for the Bonnie, the future is now.
Sometime last week (around 1pm MDT on Saturday) the Bonnie discovered that she could in fact travel to the future and back in small increments. As I type this message on Saturday April 19th at 11:53 MDT the Bonnie is already enjoying her Sunday afternoon nap 18 hours in the future in a magical place called New Zealand. In fact, the Bonnie, at the risk of destroying the space time continuum, has already informed me that the Boston Celtics easily won game 1 of their Easter Conference Round 1 playoff match up. (What you choose to do with this information is up to you, but I will not be held responsible any gambling related consequences)
Where will she go next? I do not know, but for the Bonnie, the future is now.
18 Timezones Can't Keep Us Apart
For some of us here at the Bonnieblog, we thought the Bonnie's epic adventure to the shire would mark some sort of hiatus for our bonnieblog duties. As if her two weeks in Mordor meant two weeks without new tales of Bonniedom and wacky Bonnie anecdotes. Well, we were wrong... Dead wrong.
No more than a day had passed by since her departure to middle-earth before the phone rang at Bonnieblog HQ (that stands for head quarters for those of you not in the know). On the other end of the line we heard the voice of angels, otherwise known as Bonnie. What could be so important that the Bonnie would take time away from her quest to destroy Sauron just to call BBHQ? (that's short for Bonnieblog HQ) I'll tell you what was so important... there was a sale at TJ Maxx and the Bonnie desperately needed a coat.
In her defense it was an incredible value. A $600 coat marked down to $60?!?!?! She couldn't afford not to buy it, and so she sent Steph on a quest of her own, the quest to find the TJ Maxx coat. Did Steph succeed in conquering the minions of possessed middle-aged Ork-women and obtain the One coat? With the spirit of the Bonnie at her side and in her heart, steph was able to delve deep into the nether-regions of TJ Maxx, find the One coat, slay an army of Ork-women, escape unharmed, and return safely to BBHQ to report to the Bonnie that her mission impossible had been accomplished.
On a side note, upon hearing that the mission was accomplished, the Bonnie notified Steph that she had changed her mind and that she no longer needed the One coat.
*as a side note to this posting, the reason for the numerous Lord of the Rings references is that the Bonnie is currently in New Zealand, which as we all know is where Frodo and Sam began their journey to destroy the One ring.
No more than a day had passed by since her departure to middle-earth before the phone rang at Bonnieblog HQ (that stands for head quarters for those of you not in the know). On the other end of the line we heard the voice of angels, otherwise known as Bonnie. What could be so important that the Bonnie would take time away from her quest to destroy Sauron just to call BBHQ? (that's short for Bonnieblog HQ) I'll tell you what was so important... there was a sale at TJ Maxx and the Bonnie desperately needed a coat.
In her defense it was an incredible value. A $600 coat marked down to $60?!?!?! She couldn't afford not to buy it, and so she sent Steph on a quest of her own, the quest to find the TJ Maxx coat. Did Steph succeed in conquering the minions of possessed middle-aged Ork-women and obtain the One coat? With the spirit of the Bonnie at her side and in her heart, steph was able to delve deep into the nether-regions of TJ Maxx, find the One coat, slay an army of Ork-women, escape unharmed, and return safely to BBHQ to report to the Bonnie that her mission impossible had been accomplished.
On a side note, upon hearing that the mission was accomplished, the Bonnie notified Steph that she had changed her mind and that she no longer needed the One coat.
*as a side note to this posting, the reason for the numerous Lord of the Rings references is that the Bonnie is currently in New Zealand, which as we all know is where Frodo and Sam began their journey to destroy the One ring.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Who wants to be a Bonnionaire?
It has often been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, to be quite honest, pictures dont sell for words, they sell for ca$h money. So when i saw a picture of bonnie at a local garage sale, i had to get it. I immediately went to a local Kinko's and made an exact copy. Thats when i used my 'tyler osterloh rebate skillz'... I sold the fake(as the original) on eBay for a measely million dollars...
Once i recieved this money, i thought of what i could do with it that would help out The Bonnie States of America. Yes, I know what your thinking, I should have gone and bought a luxurious european car. NO. I went to the local supermarket, bought some flour, and began to cook. This brought me to a dilhema, no not the kind of dilhema Nelly sings about, but rather a much more dificult dilhema... What would I do to help Bonns with this money? Here are a few of the ideas that immediately popped into my head--
1)Buy her all the cookbooks in the world to further her cooking education.
2)Hire the Jazz Bear for a personalized Bonnie birthday party - everyday
3)Buy Guitar Hero IV before it comes out for Bonnie
4)Give it to Jarron Collins to leave the Jazz organization.
5)Buy Mrs. Fields Cookies and change it into Bonnie's Backyard BBQ By the Booey aka the BBBBtB.
6)Give it to her to repay her for the many sweets she gives to us daily.
7)Replace the vase Jacob broke over the weekend.
8)Pay for Bonnies airfare back to the U.S. from New Zealand.
9)Give it to charity, thats what Bonnie would want
10th and Finally) Buy a fake afro for Bonnie so that she could be 'hip' with STABE.
I think i speak for all of us when i say this.. "Bonnie, we miss your beautiful soul in the Americas, and stay away from those nasty Koala Bears." Good Luck and Stay Safe Bonnie and Rob.
Editor's Note: Jefferson had a 593 note streak on GH3 untill he CHOKED on the 6th to last note... What a NOOB!!!
Once i recieved this money, i thought of what i could do with it that would help out The Bonnie States of America. Yes, I know what your thinking, I should have gone and bought a luxurious european car. NO. I went to the local supermarket, bought some flour, and began to cook. This brought me to a dilhema, no not the kind of dilhema Nelly sings about, but rather a much more dificult dilhema... What would I do to help Bonns with this money? Here are a few of the ideas that immediately popped into my head--
1)Buy her all the cookbooks in the world to further her cooking education.
2)Hire the Jazz Bear for a personalized Bonnie birthday party - everyday
3)Buy Guitar Hero IV before it comes out for Bonnie
4)Give it to Jarron Collins to leave the Jazz organization.
5)Buy Mrs. Fields Cookies and change it into Bonnie's Backyard BBQ By the Booey aka the BBBBtB.
6)Give it to her to repay her for the many sweets she gives to us daily.
7)Replace the vase Jacob broke over the weekend.
8)Pay for Bonnies airfare back to the U.S. from New Zealand.
9)Give it to charity, thats what Bonnie would want
10th and Finally) Buy a fake afro for Bonnie so that she could be 'hip' with STABE.
I think i speak for all of us when i say this.. "Bonnie, we miss your beautiful soul in the Americas, and stay away from those nasty Koala Bears." Good Luck and Stay Safe Bonnie and Rob.
Editor's Note: Jefferson had a 593 note streak on GH3 untill he CHOKED on the 6th to last note... What a NOOB!!!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
General Conference is adjourned... AFTER THIS
My heart is filled at this moment, filled with disgust and agony for a fellow member of the bonnie blog team(currently she is undergoing membership qualification questioning). How does somebody betray the loyalty and trust of The BBT? I don't know... but this past week it happened, and it heppened with the magnitude of a 6.7 earthquake.
Sure, the end of school gets frustrating. Finals, quizzes, assignments, la tarea(homework); but none of this should make us turn so far from the path. A 'so called member' of the team recently debated a question which should have been a no brainer. But the forces of satan are strong in these latter-days, and she was tempted greatly. Im talking about Steph, and her so-close decision to hang out with a unanamous third party. This tall, handsome, creamy-hershey-toned man seduced steph to try and hang out with him this past weekend. These two, or "STABE", as the National Enquierer calls them, were going to commit crimes and burglaries all over the sandy area... Luckily, we had a savior...
When the bonnie was asked if STABE could reunite, she gave an emphatic NO. But verily, verily, I say unto you, the forces of the destroyer are strong, and she tried to convince the man himself to justify her actions. Rob gave an even more emphatic 'no' to the propoganda campaign. It was at this moment, when stabe was discontinued. Steph came out of her trance, and realized what she was doing. It was as though she was under a mystical spell of a Dungeon or Dragon, that she had no control over. It was as though Venasaur (Level 3 bulbasaur) had wrapped her in his green, spikey weeds to never let her go again. Luckily, Charizard (bonnie)((the best pokemon in the game, and most expensive pokemon card to date)) sizzled away the ideas of this man and brought her back to Ash.
My brothers and sisters i employ of you, dont listen to these ridiculous thoughts of millsaptery, stay on the bonnie path, and love the bonnie for all she does for us... Never forget the sacrifices made...
With Bonnitude,
bonnfireoflove
Sure, the end of school gets frustrating. Finals, quizzes, assignments, la tarea(homework); but none of this should make us turn so far from the path. A 'so called member' of the team recently debated a question which should have been a no brainer. But the forces of satan are strong in these latter-days, and she was tempted greatly. Im talking about Steph, and her so-close decision to hang out with a unanamous third party. This tall, handsome, creamy-hershey-toned man seduced steph to try and hang out with him this past weekend. These two, or "STABE", as the National Enquierer calls them, were going to commit crimes and burglaries all over the sandy area... Luckily, we had a savior...
When the bonnie was asked if STABE could reunite, she gave an emphatic NO. But verily, verily, I say unto you, the forces of the destroyer are strong, and she tried to convince the man himself to justify her actions. Rob gave an even more emphatic 'no' to the propoganda campaign. It was at this moment, when stabe was discontinued. Steph came out of her trance, and realized what she was doing. It was as though she was under a mystical spell of a Dungeon or Dragon, that she had no control over. It was as though Venasaur (Level 3 bulbasaur) had wrapped her in his green, spikey weeds to never let her go again. Luckily, Charizard (bonnie)((the best pokemon in the game, and most expensive pokemon card to date)) sizzled away the ideas of this man and brought her back to Ash.
My brothers and sisters i employ of you, dont listen to these ridiculous thoughts of millsaptery, stay on the bonnie path, and love the bonnie for all she does for us... Never forget the sacrifices made...
With Bonnitude,
bonnfireoflove
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Quote of the Day April 4th
I'm eccentric and bizarre and I have a blog so I can do those sorts of things
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